THE MEG

**Inspired by Screen Rant's "Pitch Meetings" featuring Ryan George**

Warner Bros. Producer:  "So you have a new movie for me?"
Screenwriter:  "Yes, sir, I do."
Producer:  "Well, I certainly hope it's based on something currently popular."
Screenwriter:  "It certainly is, sir."
Producer:  "Is it about emojis?  Because the kids are really into emojis these days."
Screenwriter:  "Oh heck no, sir.  It's a shark movie."
Producer:  "Oh!  People are into shark movies?"
Screenwriter:  "Oh, yes, sir, they sure are!"
Producer:  "Well, we should probably make a movie that adds something to the shark genre.  Does your movie involve a shark becoming part octopus?  That sounds like a thrilling action movie."
Screenwriter:  "Already been done, sir."
Producer:  "Oh, well, does your shark turn into a ghost?"
Screenwriter:  "There's also a movie about that."
Producer:  "How about a movie where the shark wears a Santa hat?"
Screenwriter:  "Santa Jaws.  Look it up. It's real."
Producer:  "I give up.  What makes your movie special?"
Screenwriter:  "I figured since you like remakes we could do a Jaws remake."
Producer:  "Oh, remakes are tight.  I love them.  It's why I rebooted Batman like three times.  And I'm probably going to do it again pretty soon."
Screenwriter:  "Please don't."
Producer:  "But didn't you write a remake for Jaws?"
Screenwriter:  "I did, but I tweaked it to where it's just different enough that people won't notice."
Producer:  "How so?"
Screenwriter:  "Super easy, barely an inconvenience.  Instead of a great white shark, it's a megalodon."
Producer:  "What's a megalodon?"
Screenwriter:  "It's the largest known shark to have existed.  It's like crazy huge.  Like, we're going to need a lot of CGI for this thing."
Producer:  "And this will fool people into thinking it's not a Jaws remake?"
Screenwriter:  "Hopefully.  I mean, it's still about a guy who had a career in saving people's lives that comes out of retirement to help defeat a shark that attacks people at a beach and uses a boat that is clearly too small to handle said shark."
Producer:  "And what's the name of this movie?  'Jaws But Bigger'?"
Screenwriter:  "I thought we could name it based off of my favorite book series The Meg since I used parts of the book to help fool people into thinking this wasn't a Jaws remake."
Producer:  "You seem to be scarily obsessed with sharks."
Screenwriter:  "Shark Week is like my Hanukkah."
Producer:  "You're weird."
Screenwriter:  "I have no life.  So what do you think of my movie?  You like it?"
Producer:  "I mean it does sound like dumb fun and a good time as long as I don't think about it too hard, but all I care about is money.  Will this movie make me money?"
Screenwriter:  "Way more than you think it would."